I'm starting to feel that little tickle in my stomach. The one that tells me that I need a cute little baby, like many of my already-parent friends. Sigh. If life were super simple, it would be an easy decision to make.
Last month I had a worry-fit about whether or not I would be a good mother, and blah blah blah. But I'm really sick of worrying. In fact, I really don't care anymore. I want a kid. I've been back and forth on this, so here it is. Who's to blame for this sudden shift in attitude? Well, you can blame my husband and how amazing he is with children. It makes me melt.
Yesterday, he was holding a little boy in his lap, tickling him and teasing him, and I remembered one of the biggest reasons I was attracted to him. My good gosh, he's going to be an awesome dad. He chases our friends' kids around, lifts them up, and the children just love him. He has a gravitational pull and all the little children just run to him. I mean, literally. I love the smile he gets when he's playing with them. I love the way he talks to them.
We can't really have children right now, because he's still in college. And after that, he's going to get his graduate degree. So, really children aren't a possibility right now...I guess. I also have to put him through school with a job, so yeah, it's going to be hard being the one working and having the baby. But I don't want to wait five years. I don't think I could. I'm ready now. But, I'm going to try to be patient for at least another year. Maybe.